Hey guys! I am back with another post that is really raw and personal!
To be honest, I wrote this post meaning to submit it for publishing, but it got rejected. Oh well, its never easy getting works published so I might as well just put it up on my own personal blog to share it with all of you who are willing to read!
How I learned to stop being afraid of being the person who loves more
I have always, ALWAYS been one to be described as
"intense". Often, people around me tend to think I am slightly crazy,
for who the heck does things to such extreme measures, especially when it comes
to emotions such as love? Well, ME.
When it comes to relationships specifically, I am always known to be the one with the ">" sign. I am overly clingy, overly touchy, overly cheesy. I express my emotions through long paragraphs of words telling you why I am so crazily infatuated by your existence. I will go out of my way just to spend a few extra minutes with you. I will buy you gifts which if I will not even spend on myself. I will write you poems, I will double call you, double text you. Often my close friends who see me going through this craziness, often reminds me that I have to learn to "chill" and "play harder to get". My best friend once told me, "you gotta hold back and stop showing so much love, or people will always take you for granted".
I used to be so afraid that what he said was true. I was afraid that when I always love more, I will be on the losing end. I used to be afraid that if I love more, the other person is going to stop appreciating me. I used to be afraid that when I love so much more, people feel suffocated by my intensity.
But then as I slowly grow, I have come to a point in life when I decided to embrace this ">" sign that lies in me. I decided to stop suppressing my intensity, to stop being afraid, but rather, be proud of this trait of mine.
When it comes to relationships specifically, I am always known to be the one with the ">" sign. I am overly clingy, overly touchy, overly cheesy. I express my emotions through long paragraphs of words telling you why I am so crazily infatuated by your existence. I will go out of my way just to spend a few extra minutes with you. I will buy you gifts which if I will not even spend on myself. I will write you poems, I will double call you, double text you. Often my close friends who see me going through this craziness, often reminds me that I have to learn to "chill" and "play harder to get". My best friend once told me, "you gotta hold back and stop showing so much love, or people will always take you for granted".
I used to be so afraid that what he said was true. I was afraid that when I always love more, I will be on the losing end. I used to be afraid that if I love more, the other person is going to stop appreciating me. I used to be afraid that when I love so much more, people feel suffocated by my intensity.
But then as I slowly grow, I have come to a point in life when I decided to embrace this ">" sign that lies in me. I decided to stop suppressing my intensity, to stop being afraid, but rather, be proud of this trait of mine.
These are the reasons why you too, should stop being afraid
of being the person who always love more.
1. You
are sure of what you want.
You know what you want, you believe in your choices and you
embrace your feelings. You are true to yourself. You do not hold back when you
love someone or something. This gives you the certainty that the person you are
in love with, is who you really, truly love, and you are not only loving them
with the expectations of reciprocity. Even if things do not go the way you
wished them too, even if they don't feel the same, you know you were true to
your own feelings, expressing your true emotions to the person you are
overwhelmed with.
2. You are more
appreciative.
When you are used to being the one who loves more, you learn to not take things for granted. You know how tough it is for someone to express their love, to show you that they care, because you are used to being on the other end. So when a person does any sweet little gestures to show their love, you will definitely be more appreciative. You learn to see the slightest act of kindness, and appreciate them.
When you are used to being the one who loves more, you learn to not take things for granted. You know how tough it is for someone to express their love, to show you that they care, because you are used to being on the other end. So when a person does any sweet little gestures to show their love, you will definitely be more appreciative. You learn to see the slightest act of kindness, and appreciate them.
3. You are more in
touch with your own feelings and emotions.
When you love more, you feel emotions more deeply. You get overwhelmed just by looking your significant other do random things like crinkling their nose when they laugh. You feel so infatuated by just seeing their name pop up on your phone screen. You tear up when they tell you they miss you. You feel so much more deeply. Yes, in times of unreciprocated love, you feel pain so much more strongly than others. But this also helps you to cope with the intensity of your negative feelings, and shape you to be stronger. You do not suppress or hide your feelings, but you bravely get in touch with them.
4. It makes you a better person.
You love much more than anyone else. It makes you more genuine and selfless when it comes to the people you love. You are willing to fight for what you believe in, or the people you love. You will fight through all obstacles for the people you love. You do not run away easily when things get hard, you do not give up so easily. You may think it is unfair for you to love so much more, but on the other hand, you know that this makes you a much better person who is not afraid of expressing your love.
When you love more, you feel emotions more deeply. You get overwhelmed just by looking your significant other do random things like crinkling their nose when they laugh. You feel so infatuated by just seeing their name pop up on your phone screen. You tear up when they tell you they miss you. You feel so much more deeply. Yes, in times of unreciprocated love, you feel pain so much more strongly than others. But this also helps you to cope with the intensity of your negative feelings, and shape you to be stronger. You do not suppress or hide your feelings, but you bravely get in touch with them.
4. It makes you a better person.
You love much more than anyone else. It makes you more genuine and selfless when it comes to the people you love. You are willing to fight for what you believe in, or the people you love. You will fight through all obstacles for the people you love. You do not run away easily when things get hard, you do not give up so easily. You may think it is unfair for you to love so much more, but on the other hand, you know that this makes you a much better person who is not afraid of expressing your love.
Often, we think that being the person who loves much more means we are "losing". We have been trained to believe that when we love more, we lose our values. We are afraid when we love more, people will run away because they get freaked out. But then again, when we are able to love more, it also means that we have so much more capacity in our hearts to love someone that much. And when we meet the right people, they will appreciate and embrace our intensity, oh and how lovely will it be, if they too, are competing to be the one who loves more.
