New Year.

Its the last day of 2014! As cliche as it sounds, but where did the time go?!

Some people think that new years are overrated. You make resolutions which you only keep to for the first week, the first month tops, and you forget about them. You tell yourself its gonna be the best year so far but midway things get messed up. You start the year with a significant someone/friends and by the end of the year you dont even talk anymore. Well, I can't deny that these things do happen, and people around you, things around you will change with time, its inevitable. After all, A LOT can change in 365 days. 

But being a dreamer deep down inside me, I still believe in the beauty of New Year. I think its magical because of the sense of HOPE it brings. No matter how messed up your last year was, you get to give yourself another chance, a new beginning. Imagine if life was not categorized into years, but rather, its a accumulated days until the day you die. Like 5764 days of my life to date. Whoah, there wont be a chance where you get to start over, or start on the first blank page again. And if you mess up, you are mess up. That would be awful.

Despite us being humans with short term memory/determination, despite knowing that things might go the wrong way later, a new year is still a new year. Forget the things you messed up in 2014 and forgive yourself. Free yourself from guilt from the past. Let yourself be surrounded by people that brings out the best in you. Free yourself from negativity. Take a deep breath and get ready to start 2015 fresh. 

Because this is a once a year (literally) opportunity to start afresh and pull through. Dont hold back to making resolutions. Make them and hold on to them for the rest of the year (try again!). 

Wishing you a Happy New Year in advance, and may the sense of hope it comes with do you some good. Goodluck for the next 365 days! Everyday counts! 

XOXO, 

Best Friend.

"Best friend is the one who makes you the best version of yourself, inspires you to do greatness, and believes in you even when you don't. "


I have always addressed Ming Han as my best friend since we became super close since Flag Day when we were in Form 1. (Yes, my best friend is a dude and I am a girl. and Yessss, its as platonic as it can get. :p ) As the years pass, I become even more sure of our friendship, and even until now, when we are in different places (I'm in Kampar, while he is in KL), we are still super close. We are not that kind of friends who constantly text or call, but each time when something bothers us, we would confide in each other, and sometimes we don't even contact each other throughout the semesters. But each time if we are back in Penang, or when we meet up, we can still talk like nothing has changed. And I am really, really grateful for this kind of friendship.

I know some people say that your best friend should be someone you marry and all, but aint it great if you can have someone else other than your bf/gf/wife/husband/partner to be a constant someone for you? Oh and also sometimes, best friends are in a different level with romantic partners. It does not mean that best friends are better or vice versa, but they are rather from different categories. Besides, when you fight with your partner, you need someone else to talk to, no? (HAHAHA!)

Anyways, last week, I met up with Ming Han for a drink (two drinks in fact) to talk and catch up. Well, this semester have been very stressful for me, and lets just say that I had a lot of obstacles and many things came up, which caused me a lot of frustration and negative feelings. So I was pouring out all my thoughts and frustrations regarding friends, work, preparing for internship etc etc. Somehow, Ming Han was able to make me feel super duper motivated, energized together with a sense of confidence that makes me believe I am capable of doing anything as long as I was determined, at the end of the night. I guess its because he is one who takes initiative to do what he is passionate about and is already making foundations for his future by gaining experience in his field of study.

So from a confused, unsure, insecure of the future person, I was suddenly so motivated to stop finding excuses for myself (although the fact that KL would definitely have more opportunities and chances compared to Kampar), I should actually DO SOMETHING for myself. If I want to improve myself as an emcee, then I should find more opportunities to gain experience. If I want to do my internship at good companies, then I should actually try for it. Suddenly everything became much clearer for me.

The simple thoughts to consider each time I want to do something : "Is it good/beneficial for me in most aspects? Do I want it badly enough? Am I willing to sacrifice for it? " If yes, then I should totally go for it! This can also be a solution to friendship problems, as in if those people are good for you, if the activities they do are good for you or makes you happy, then you should go for it. If not, don't waste your time or energy. Kinda the same theory. (But of course when it comes to friends, emotions and feelings will be involved.)

I know this post seems sort of "motivator wannabe" but in fact, I am just sharing the insight that I got from a good friend.

I have never felt so filled with motivation and inspiration like this in quite some time. This made me realized how much a good friendship can do to you. Good friendships are suppose to make you comfortable in your own skin, instead of forever trying to fit in. They are suppose to make you feel confident, and yet not proud (with their support and constructive feedback), instead of dejected and insecure. I am so grateful for that talk that day with Ming Han. It inspired me so much that on that night itself, I started to do my research on companies for internship. I believe that few hours of talk the other day has change me for the better. I am not sure how long this determination is going to last, but I am thankful it gave me a new insight as well as a push towards my goals. I also believe that as long as you keep GOOD friendships around you, you will always be able to make it through.

Thank you for the people around me that has always believed in me, or have always been there for me. The impact you guys have done to my life is wonderful.

Belated merry Christmas everyone. Be grateful and appreciate good friendships in your life. 

Girls just wanna have fun ;)

Hello from Penang!! 

Year-end sembreak always seem more fun because most people are on break too, which is rare because my uni tend to have weird sembreaks which is different from other uni. Oh and even friends studying in overseas are back (ie: jia ying)! So yay to more outings and hang outs! And of course, its great because its christmas season! So of course a lot of festive mood going on.. So HAPPY SEMBREAK! 

On monday, met up with jia ying for a typical girl time hang out! Went queens to shop and shop and shop! Basically when I hang out with jia ying, we have REAL girlie time by being super beh pai seh and vain.. 🙈 

Both of us in our fav dresses of the day.. But pocket does not allow us to own it, so just camwhore and vain in it, and whine and emo about our "lost love". After all, 爱，不一定拥有.. *drama* 😂 

Another dress which I loved but did not get because its not practical. Rather save up to get more decent dresses that can be worn to work when I do my internship in May. *signs of growing up* hahaha 

Its nice sometimes just being all vain and shopping and having girlie talk and updating each other. Its been long.. ;) 

Shall update again soon because I dont want this post to be too lengthy.. So thats all for now! 

XOXO, 

Final 2!

Usually when I say I still have 2 more papers to go, it usually means one paper the next day, and the other one in another 2-7 days. Usually la. But tomorrow, which is the last day of finals for me, I have 2 papers. 2 freaking papers in a day. Now, I am freaking out, sorta, enough to make me feel gan jeong and jittery, but not enough to make me focus and study like a pro. Tension tension.

But although I keep complaining about having two papers tomorrow, a part of me is actually happy that after 4pm tomorrow, its sembreak/holiday/christmas period for me already! So yay to that! 😁✌️ 

As usual, only blogging when I am not suppose to, and have much more important stuff to do, i.e. study for 2 papers. So yeah. Got to run! 

XOXO,

Class - free Tuesdays.

This semester, I have no classes on Tuesdays. My uni's timetable system is to allow students to bid for their preferable timetable slot as long as it fulfills the credit hours. This semester I got pretty lucky (bidding timetable is literally a teeth-clenching WAR!), and managed to somehow adjust my timetable in a way that I have no classes on Tuesdays. Oh and on fridays, my class ends at 11am. So I can have a teeny bit longer weekend.. :p

Anyways, for the first class-free Tuesday, I planned a whole list of chores to do and errands to run. I was supposed to wake up at 10am, but I overslept till about noon. I was so so mad at myself and woke up in a bad mood. Funny thing is at one point, I asked myself, "what was the rush anyway? It's not like I have any upcoming tests or assignment deadlines! Besides, it was the first week of the semester!" So I felt better and continued my chores and did my errands.

This incident made me think.. This is sort of a usual feeling for me.. Even if I know I have a holiday, or basically a day off, I am still always planning and trying to complete one task after another, or even worst, even if I got no proper tasks to do, I still have an automatic mode where I need to "not waste time" and get going for lunch so that I can get going for movies so that I can get going for naps so that I can get going for dinner so that I can get going for desserts etc. It's as if I just can't take things slow and basically relax and do nothing. I am always rushing what I am doing, whether it is tasks or leisure activitied, in order to get to another task or the next enjoyable activity.  I know this is actually really good for studying or doing assignments (sadly when it comes to that, I tend to slack.. the irony!), but it's kinda tiring and a lil stupid to be rushing leisure time just to get to another activity, no? Not only it makes me impatient and cranky when there are things to inhibit me from doing any activity at a specific time and make myself miserable on a good day off, it makes the people around me feel stressed and the activity becomes less enjoyable. Party - Pooper! :/

So I have been pondering over this small lil weird thing about me, and trying to tell myself to let loose once in awhile and just really, REALLY chill and relax. Oh and I am also trying to tell myself that on days I do not have classes, such as Tuesdays and the weekends, there is nothing wrong in lazing in bed a littleee longer to enjoy the feeling of no classes or things to do. After all, it is already the third week of my semester, and I won't be having much more of these "commitment/deadlines/ - free days" anymore, so I should totally embrace and enjoy these moments where I get to enjoy and chill.

Happy Tuesday, peoples! And cherish all the time you get to enjoy and relax! <3

                                       

Car Ethics.

This is going to be the first so called "intellectual post". Or more like, my personal thoughts and opinions on certain stuff, instead of just updates about whats going on in my life. As a warning, it might sound offensive or in case anyone thinks I'm talking about them, it is just general so take a chill pill kays. :) Besides, it is my OWN opinion and I am just speaking my mind. :)

I got my car, or more like I inherited my brother's car when he went to the States around August last year. So I have been driving in Kampar for about 8 months so far? Because in Kampar, most people cycle, and having a car means its an extra bonus. And before I owned a car, I always told myself, If I ever had a car in Kampar, I want to always be able to help provide transport or car pool or even just to fetch people when they need it, in my own means and ability of course. 

But ever since I started driving, and owning a car, I realize there are so much ways and patterns people come out with when they "tumpang" (hitch a ride) your car! Before that, I have heard stories from my close friend, Yian Thin who has a car since she went to Kampar, about people treating her like a "driver" (without any pay of course) and taking for granted her good will of fetching them. 

And after I got my car, I had to agree with her, and I realize so much little things  matter to you from a person who sits in your car. 

I would like to share some unwritten rules I think people should follow when you "tumpang" people's car. I like to call it "car ethics". It has also been an eye opener for me and I promise to try to be aware of it and not make the same mistakes when I am in another person's car.

Car Ethics (based on Emi's theory anyway) :

1. Say Thank You. 

Back to basic. I know many people be like, "duhhhhh!" but you will be surprised how often people don't do say thank you. Remember no matter how small the favour is, but people who are willing to take you along in their car, deserves just the simplest form of gratitude. Don't take things for granted. It is not your friend's obligation to pick you up just because your house is on the way. Even if you pay someone to fetch you, it is still an effor/form of help. Just freaking say "Thank You". It ain't that hard.

2. Greet/Say hello to the driver/car owner.

Come on..... It is such a simple request. When you get into someone's car, greet the driver. Don't just step into the car silently, and step out silently. Even if you do not know the driver well, at least smile or nod, to acknowledge the existence of the driver. The car does not move on it's own and reach your destination automatically. You not acknowledging the driver is just plain rude.

3. Inform the driver if you need them to fetch your friend/relative/boyfriend/girlfriend or any extra persons.

If you need the driver to fetch someone else as well, let them know beforehand. This is manners and it is also important because the driver might be fetching other people as well. Asking right before you go into their car is a last resort, but never, never ever have someone else conveniently hop into the car without informing.  Even if the other person is a friend of the driver. Because the driver is expecting you alone to hop into their car, not you and your boyfriend's mum's aunty's dog's owner's husband's sister as well.

4. Don't "tumpang" a person's car if you don't like the person ( UNLESS IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS).

If you dislike the car owner/driver, just don't tumpang their car. Don't be such a two faced plastic. It's fake, and everyone knows you are just being a hypocrite for the sake of your own convenience. It is ALWAYS hard for the driver to outright reject any requests for fetching people, so if you know they don't like you or vice versa, just don't ask and make things awkward. Ask someone else. Or if you really have no choice, find other form of transportation. Unless there is an emergency situation where you got no choice and you urgently need transport. I repeat, this does not include emergency situations!

5. Don't kutuk (criticize) the car or the driver's driving skills.

NEVER do this. Unless you are like super close with the driver. Even so, do it in a nice way. Nobody likes to be criticized by someone they are doing a favor for. If the car is too old/too hot/too crammed for you, don't get on. Nobody needs to hear your complains about their car. The driving skills of the driver is known by the driver themselves. Yes, you can remind them, "Car beside!" , "Careful!", etc. But don't kutuk in a mean way. Your sarcasm about people's driving skills are kept inside your own mind. The driver does not have to hear it. It adds stress and tension to the driver, and you hurt their feelings. 

These are a few basic car ethics I think people should try to follow. I know I sound so "high and mighty" just because I have a car, but that is not what I am trying to imply. Understand that those that drive you around are just doing you a little favor. Don't take people's help for granted. Including the closest people around you.And trust me, a little "thank you" from you means a lot to the person who fetch you. :)

P/S This is the first real post and I am still not very good at the "illustrations" yet. But I thought just a whole post of words are gonna bore people out. :p

I'm a Procrastinator.

Guess who is living in the good ol' relaxed, no assignments/exams to worry about, no alarm clocks to wake up to (most days) sembreak life? ME!! Hahaha! (In fact, a lot of other people are also having their sembreak.. LOL!)

Anyways, I finished my last paper on friday, and I came back to Penang right on that day itself! 

So far, I do not have much plans or events going on, because I'm the type of person who would just stay home, watch movies/series from my laptop and just laze around, instead of filling my schedule up to the brim.. If I have so much to do, then it is no longer a BREAK anymore. 

The things I have done since I came back was watching korean drama (I am NOT a big fan, but since I started it some time ago, so I decided to just finish it up), had some bonding/makan with my parents and I met up with Ming Han this morning for breakfast because that sakai is going back later today. Ish. 

So I am living the good life of lazing around at home, sleeping till late, waking up to watch the korean drama, eating, taking naps, eating and more korean drama/movies. My kind of bliss! 

Tomorrow is Wesak Day, which means it's a public holiday and I'd most probably be spending time with my family in the day. 

This is just a short update on what is happening now! I think people who actually read my blog will think I have such a boring life. Maybe I do. LOL. Don't give up on me yet. I promise there will be more interesting posts next! :) 

Random Update.

I'm currently lying in bed, with my hair still wet after my shower, almost dozing off and stomach rumbling in cry for food. 

The sad dilemma when you are hungry and sleepy but can't go out and eat or take a nap because your hair is wet. And you are wayyyyy to lazy to get up right away and blow dry your hair. Solazyomg. 

Anyways, this week I have 3 papers altogether and it is going to be super hectic. I just came back from finishing my applied psychology paper (don't know what to say about it. :/ ) and will have my Personality paper on Wednesday and my Social Psychology paper on Saturday. Tonight is going to be a long night!  *deep breath* 

Anyways, this is a very random update, since I have a bit of "in-between time" and am starting to like blogging off my phone because it is so convenient (I am writing this as I am dozing off in my cosy bed :p) and the photos are uploaded so much faster! 

Sorry about having posts about studying and exams way too often, but currently my life is basically just that.. Sad. Lol! 

Once again spamming photos i took while studying.. I have a weird obsession with studying photos. I stalk people's studying photos to motivate myself. #confession Now i can stalk my own! HAHAHA! *narcisist* 

My table right before my stats exam.. Super duper messy! =x

While studying applied psychology last night. This whole weekend when I was supposed to study for AP, I was slacking like nobody's business and felt so demotivated. I DUNNO WHY!! :( 

My study break snack! Oat crunch! :) 

I have been a total hungry ghost during this exam period! I am constantly craving for good food, not just food, but good food! Not good food as in classy food, but unhealthy food like McD, deep fried stuff and right now I am craving for chips as well!!! (Chipster, come to mama!) Oh and bubble milk tea too! It's the 28th today.. Bo Eight (bubble tea shop) has a promo of RM1 off every 8th, 18th and 28th! 

So hungry now that I think I shall get up and blow dry my hair and go out for dinner! And maybe have snacks and desserts.. And chips afterwards! 😂 

Off to makan! Bye peoples! <3 

Kingsley. Meow.

This post is going to be about.....

KINGSLEY!! <3

So I am going to do a timeline about some happenings since this lil fella came into my life. I don't remember specifically the date or period, so I just agak-agak lah.

End of First Week : 
When stroking him, I realize there were little black "insects" crawling on his neck. I noticed it more around his neck because the fur on his neck is white while the whole body is in a much darker colour. So after a few days, I suspected that it might be parasites. I knew it was not ticks because I have seen my dog infected by ticks before. Ticks are much bigger compared to this tiny black stuff crawling on him. So brought him to the very helpful pet shop around here. (Paw Prints, near KTAR in case any Kamparians might want to find a good pet shop) So they confirmed that he was infected by FLEAS. So to solve this problem, they adviced us to bathe him, and comb out the fleas one by one with a super fine comb. Samuel and I used 45 minutes altogether to get him all cleaned up and flea free (hopefully). He was screaming like mad because it was his first time bathing, and we had to slowly comb out the fleas, so he was wet and cold and miserable. He even peed and pooped in the pail we bathed him. Sure he damn stressed out. Poor little boy. :( But after that, I think he is free from fleas, but sometimes we still see one or two crawling around and that freaks me out. :/



Second Week ( since I took care of him ) :
I guessed because I had no idea about the little details of taking care of a baby kitten, I did not know that his milk will spoil in such a short time, ( I had friends telling me that cats will know when their food is spoilt and won't eat it ), so I accidentally fed him milk that has turn slightly sour. He still finished it, but by afternoon, he actually had diarrhea. The most touching part about this was when I saw him digging my floor, I agak that he might need to either pee or shit, so I put him in his box, where he does his business, and instead of jumping out like he always do, he queitly waited inside, until suddenly I saw him started to lao sai (diarrhea ). Then he messed up the whole box because he peed as well and all his paws terkena the pee and diarrhea mixture. Urghhhhhh. So I had to bathe him immediately even though I was supposed to study. But I guess it was worth it. After bathing and cleaning him up, he slept soundly throughout the whole afternoon.

 

All clean and sleeping peacefully. :') 

End of second week : 

This little baby grows up so much every single day! Even now as I am posting his photos from two weeks back, he looks so different! So there was this one day, when he acted like a hyper rascal, and he was meowing non stop for no specific reason. He scratched me all over my thighs and hands till all the scars were so horrible. And when I bathe, damn the pain!! Super pedih! Another thing was he kept diving into the dustbin that day and I felt so mad! He was acting like a total kopitiam cat which I seriously loathed! But the worst thing was right after I cleaned my room, vaccumed and mop my floor, this little rascal went to pee in the corner of my room where I stacked all my shoe boxes and household items! I was so frustrated because he was already so naughty, and I just cleaned my room, and I seriously felt damn upset at him! It made me question myself if I could even be capable of taking care of this little devil.You might think that I am a quitter, but when you have so much work on your hands already, and this lil fella still hurts you and acts like a total devil, I really really felt so pissed and stressed out. But by the time I went out dinner with Samuel and he asked if I wanted to give him away to another home, so I don't have to feel so stressed out and miserable about it, I suddenly felt protective and this thought jumped into my head, " When we were kids, and acted like little devils and were so so naughty, did our parents ever thought of giving us away?" And that thought follows me till today. :)

Third week : 

We bought him a cat litter! this is a big deal for me because I decided to only invest in a cat litter ( it is not cheap! Costs about 30 plus ) when I am sure about taking care of him. And he is so so intelligent! He learned how to use his cat litter on that day itself!  And before that he did not know how to cover his shit yet, but I think just yesterday he learned how to do it properly! It is such a proud moment to see him learn something new each time! 

2 days ago : 

He purred for the first time! At least it was the first time I noticed it... I was out the whole day in campus and when I came back I was so happy to see him, so I scooped him up and cuddle him.. Suddenly I heard a super super soft sound of "rrrrrrr" and I was so so happy that I teared! :') Because Cally told me, if a cat purrs when you sayang it, it means it is very contented and it loves you very much!! Yayyy Kingsley loves me! :') <3

Here are some more photos of him : 

 

When he first learned to drink from his milk bottle :3 

Beside his cat litter. 

When he is in "hunter"/"predator" mode. He will stare at his target intensely, and then lounges! But it is so funny cause he is still so young so the distance he lounges is like just one or two step forward.

Okay thats all about Kingsley for now! Good night! 

Mandatory introduction post.

Hey you!

So this is the first ever post of mine on this blog, and I am going to write a sort of, introductory post I guess? I realized a lot of bloggers, the blogs that I follow anyway, don't write an introduction post, but rather, they dive into the topics straight away. But for me, I feel a lil bit weird to not introduce myself and what this blog is going to be about, etc. It feels like entering first day of school without the whole awkward ice breaking/getting to know each other session. It's awkward but mandatory. :p

So I figure out that most people will not usually take the time to read long, lengthy paragraphs, especially by someone they don't know, so I am going to make this post a Q and A post. Yeah, the questions are asked by me as well. #Forever Alone

1. Who am I?
    My name is Emily, most of my close friends call me Em or Emi, I am 19 years old, and will turn
    20 this June. I am from Penang, Malaysia, the most beautiful place ever. I am 152cm, and is often
    known for my shortness. (Because God only allow things to grow till they are perfect, and I guess
    I just took a lil less time than others. HAHAHA!)I am currently studying my Psychology degree in
    UTAR. I love my course,and it can get stressful at times, and by stressful I mean, super-duper,
    nausea-inducing kinda stress, but if I ever get to choose my course again, I would never choose 
    something else. It's tough, but I am enjoying it. :)

2. Why is my blog called "Confessions of a Cili Padi"?
    Haha! Thinking about this makes me wanna laugh cause I used to get mega mad whenever anyone
    calls me "Cili Padi" when I was young. I have been called Cili Padi pretty often since young
    because of my small size and garang  won't be bullied/loud personality.I have always been small 
    in size compared to the people of my age. I was never the quiet one, or the damsel in distress. I
    don't mean to say I am those super loud and annoying people who makes loads of noise and 
    irritates the people around them. (but I do admit I sometimes am ) I am just the kind of person who
    as I said, won't be defeated easily, and I will fight for what I believe for even if it might result in
    certain circumstances.Yes, I am super duper awkward in certain social situations, ( actually the 
    awkward penguin in me only started after I entered uni, it's pretty weird ) but if I know you, then
    I will be my comfortable self and be well, the real person I am. So yeah, hence the name. 

3. Why do I choose to start a blog?
    I have started blogging since I was in Form 1, which was when I was 13, and I changed my blog to
    private at one point because I wanted to rant about more personal stuff. Recently, I have met with
    certain encounters that make me feel like blogging again, as in a public blog, where I can voice
    my views and share stuff.  Another thing, I realize I am those sort of people who find a need to 
    feel motivated and to have that drive, when I have purpose and goals in life. Yeah, academically
    I do have goals and purpose, but other than that, ever since my society's camp, I have been feeling
    a little bit empty. Academically I have been super busy with assignments and midterms, but other 
    than that, I feel I am not living my life fulfilling enough. Another reason to start a blog, to rant,
    share thoughts and live more fully so I can blog about it. Oh and maybe it's also cause I am a 
    narcissist prick.  :p

4. What will this blog be about?
    Well, basically...... ME?? HAHAHA *proving my narcissism* It's going to be about my thoughts 
     on certain stuff and sharing my life events that is happening around me. I guess it's going to be 
     about random stuff, sorta like writing loads of different stuff from my own perspective. 

So yeah, this is my introductory post, and without knowing it, I answered the questions with such lengthy answers (lengthy paragraphs that I was suppose to avoid!), and I hope I have not bore you out. I better stop now before you run away. Thanks so much for reading!